How to be Self-Compassionate
We've all probably experienced negative thoughts about ourself at some point or another. What you may have noticed is when you have these negative thoughts, it leads to a downward spiral or snowball effect into more negative thoughts which cloud your mind, make your feel worse and may also affect your behaviors and actions to become self-destructive in nature (i.e. more binge eating, emotional eating or self-isolation).
It's these overwhelming emotions of guilt, shame, and blame which I call the "inner-bully" which has such an impact on how we view ourselves, our self-confidence and trust and our ability to make positive change.
Here's how to change it:
- Self-Compassion is the secret sauce to reframing your mindset and stopping those inner-bully thoughts before they have a chance to snowball.
- You may not realize this, but you are human. As a human, you are allowed to mess up (it's what we do) AND you are allowed to move on from it and forgive yourself.
- Self-compassion can be thought of as being kind to yourself and it's how you can stand up to those inner bully thoughts
To be more self-compassionate. Think about these questions here:
How would you speak to a loved one if they were struggling? What do you notice about your tone of voice, or the words you use?
How does this differ to how you speak to yourself when you are struggling?
If you notice you are being more self-critical of yourself? Ask yourself if this is helping you?
What factors or fears lead you to be more self-critical to yourself?
How might things change if you responded to yourself more kindly (like you would to a friend)
What words or phrases could you use to replace inner-bully talk?
Photo above is by Külli Kittus on Unsplash